You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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