I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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