Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
