we have officially lost it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
