I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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