Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
