'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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