How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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