is your mom at the bar?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
