Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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