I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
