I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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