I wannas sexs uuuuu
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
