this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
