Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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