R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
