He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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