This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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