i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
