I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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