some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize