we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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