Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
