thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
