I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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