Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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