I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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