how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
