ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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