She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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