I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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