I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
