I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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