we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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