non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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