They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
