talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
