It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
