were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
