DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize