I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The adults are the big ones right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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