just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
