i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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