: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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