You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
