i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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