just come out here and I will go home with you...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
