I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
