Already got asked if we're dating
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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