69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
