Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
