we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
