4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
