So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
