Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize