and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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