genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
