I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
