this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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