smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
