White coat. Heels.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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