I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
