im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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